Naruto RPG: Ballad of the Ninja
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 Ōsharu Kōkkai

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Karukaya
Jounin (S-Rank)
Jounin (S-Rank)
Karukaya


Posts : 682
Join date : 2015-03-27

Ōsharu Kōkkai Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ōsharu Kōkkai   Ōsharu Kōkkai I_icon_minitimeSun May 24, 2015 1:14 pm

Quote :
Name: Salt Physiology
Type: Physical
Description: A product of birth, Ōsharu was gifted a Salt Physiology. Sodium Chloride is extracted from the calories in the food consumed by the boy which is then secreted it through the sweat glands contained in the middle layer of his skin. There tends to be a "sand man" gag running around after he's consumed large food portions as salt pours uncontrollably from his body, typically leaving trails behind him. As a result of so much sodium in the body Ōsharu suffers from a high metabolism which aids in the overall food to salt conversion.

I get what you're trying to say here, but this is missing some information. Exactly how much extra salt does this allow you to produce, and conversely, how does this effect your natural hydration state? Are you constantly chugging water and having to relieve yourself to maintain your water/salt levels at some wort of balance that doesn't leave you sick as a dog all the time?


Otherwise, this isn't bad. You're gunna hafta have an RP sample, even if this is your second character. Where is this FC from? Google? Custom work on Deviant Art or something? If you have the artists name or the link to the page you got it from, we need that. If not, at least put down Google. Even with random image search links, we need that put down cause of copyrights and fair use rules.
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Jai
Commander General of Hanagakure no Sato
Commander General of Hanagakure no Sato
Jai


Posts : 253
Join date : 2015-03-28

Ōsharu Kōkkai Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ōsharu Kōkkai   Ōsharu Kōkkai I_icon_minitimeSun May 24, 2015 4:58 pm

Okay, there are several thing that Karu missed while half asleep.

First off, you're only allowed to begin off with one element as a genin. By your own write up, Brine is an advanced element requiring Yin and water. In order to use this, you'd need to start with either Yin or water release.

In regards to the Salt physiology, this is cannot be allowed at all as it clearly can be used in combat whether its the user's intention or not. The moment you are struck with a water technique, the water becomes infused with salt, which is the whole basis of salt release.

While it may not seem like much, this is clearly a combat SC, and thus, cannot be approved.
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